A Time of Testing


Earlier this month I marked the twentieth anniversary of my ordination. Of that time, I spent about five years in parish ministry, half that time in visitation and hospice chaplaincy, just under ten years in communications with a church agency, and the rest of the time on leave from call. My most recent leave from call will mark the end of its third year tomorrow. The next day I will begin serving as the interim pastor at a nearby parish, while the people begin to carry out their search for the parish’s next pastor.

Search is a good word for me to keep in mind. While the parish enters a time of prayer, self-reflection, and seeking, I will be carrying out much the same tasks. Since more than fifteen years have passed since I served as a parish pastor, the bishop recommended that I serve as an interim pastor as a way to test the waters, to discern whether God may be calling me to return to this form of ministry.

So, very naturally, I thought of this new step in my life when I read the following passage from The Rule of Benedict:

When someone comes first to the monastic life, he should not be allowed entry too readily, but as the Apostle says: “Test whether the spirits be godly” [1 John 4:1] (RB 58:1-2).

It’s not an exact fit to my circumstances, but the intent is similar. My desire is to serve this parish, to put into practice as a parish pastor the discipline of life as a Benedictine oblate, to test myself, and to listen to God to learn if it is his will that I serve him as a pastor. As Saint Benedict goes on to write, “One must note whether he really seeks God, and whether he is serious about the Work of God, obedience and hardships” (RB 58:7).

This chapter of the Rule covers “the Procedure for Accepting Brothers,” outlining the steps that a newcomer takes over the course of a yearlong novitiate. The newcomer’s patience is tested, as is his willingness to begin to live according to the way of life of the monastery. He has the opportunity to hear the Rule three times and to ask himself whether he can, with God’s help, commit to living according to its discipline.

Saint Benedict describes the Rule as a yoke. As an agricultural image, it suggests a tool fitted to an animal to direct its work to serve its master’s purpose. As a metaphor, it reminds me of Jesus’ saying about his yoke being light and easy (Matthew 11:29-30). It also reminds me that the stole I received at my ordination is meant to symbolize the yoke of pastoral ministry laid upon my neck.

The novice has a year to decide, prayerfully, whether to enter the monastery. This interim ministry will last about a year. My hope is to serve faithfully and to follow Saint Benedict’s guidance for this time of testing, as he writes:

And if after considering the matter carefully he promises to keep everything and carry out all he is told to do, then he should be received into the congregation (RB 58:14).

Ut in Omnibus Glorificetur Deus.


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